为什么我还要这么不要脸？人家都不重视我，我还赖着不走。
不要哭，为了这点小事就哭，太没用了！

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Whether I online or not, nobody notices.

Some times I really wonder, whether I seek for my soulmate because I just want someone to accompany me, listen to my complaints.. Just because I'm lonely. I do not really need a soulmate.

I don't have any friends to talk on the phone. Since young, I always thought that when I advanced to secondary school, I would have more phone calls but I guess I was wrong.

I never talked to anyone on the phone. Except my parents.

I seriously need someone to talk to on the phone.

I need that someone.

I can't always online because of my shift hours, having to quarrel over the usage of the computer everytime I attempt to use it. Even if I online, who can I tell it to? I can't show it.

I can't always let Meiyi's ears suffer during lunch.

Since I don't have anyone to talk to on the phone, I would always rant to my parents about my [..]ing life.

I feel so upset that I wanted to cry. But it's so silly to cry over that.

I can't tell anyone. I must keep it all in. Act like nothing has happened.

Next time I will think before I shoot my mouth off.

I'll just keep quiet. I shan't say anything anymore.

我是一个深宫怨妇，所以我不可以再连累人了。。

Viola, i'm back~

2 weeks really flies. Anyone miss me?

Actually i wanna post stuff on the things i have done in Tekong. But unfortunately, SAF has a strict policy on information so everyone was warned to blog with caution.

On enlistment day, i remember seeing countless faces. Some downcast, some lost, and some are like me, trying to put on a brave front with a smile. The bags and haversacks carried also came in all shapes and sizes, just like their owners. Haha.

I still remember the oath we took that sent tingles down my spine. I cant exactly remember the entire pledge, but 1 phrase i will always remember: 'To protect Singapore with my life'.

I still remember, when it was time for farewell, the emotions and tears all rushing to my eyes. How difficult it was for me to control them from gushing out. How my mum's eyes were wet, how i read that she had 101 things to tell me, but all she mananged to say was '小心'.

I still remember, when all the boys were sitting down alone, in trepidation, the things we were going to face. Some were in tears, some were looking down in despair, some were still gazing at the jetty where the ferry has just departed, while some like me began regretting all the wrong things we did at home.

We were treated with much care and respect and i slowly adapated to the life of a Singapore soldier. I still remember how proud i was when i received my rifle and the pledge we took:

I, hereby swear upon this flag, to be brave, honourable, vigilant, and i promise, to take good care of my rifle, at all times.

I still remember how the days passed so slowly as we approach our first book out day. How we buddies kept each other company, how we passed the time with our training. How we looked forward to seeing our family, friends and love ones. How eager we are to share with them the experiences that we had, and of course the muscles we built. Lol.

And finally yesterday, we cheered when we saw the Singapore SAF jetty, we roared when we saw the Pasir Ris bus interchange, and we smiled when we saw the embracing arms of our family.

Today is the last day of my civilian life. Starting tomorrow i will have to assume the life of a soldier.

Doing that means abandoning my comfy life at home, munching lays in movies, fulfilling targets at work, blasting noise at kbox, getting emo over kopi/beer/ice milo and the sort. Wonder how well(or how bad for that matter) i will do in the army. Thinking of getting used to the life inside brings a frown to my face, but maybe things are not as bad as i think it will be.

If possible and if time permits perhaps i can post something about my life inside... Going in tomorrow with a 2 weeks confinement means i will be coming out on the 29th. Phew, at least i can have the last day of this month to myself. What month is it? September? Oh... the time of the year again.

This week has been fun. Family has been treating me very nicely(finally), interesting benefits if you are the eldest in the family and going to your army. The benefits include getting another round of good-luck ang baos despite months away from CNY. Cousins will start sharing their heroic stories of how their bullets went shopping during the live range.

Thanks mum for the stuff.
Thanks NPCC sis for the kbox.
Thanks Wai for the milo peng.
Thanks Bee for the movie & charm.
Thanks Hogan for nothing (Just kidding, our timing just clash thats all)

Before i leave, dedicate a song for everybody. Everyone take care and see you 2 weeks later.

吴宗宪 - 永保安康