Oh man......... If I keep giving up cause I'm scared then it will be a never ending story and how many years do I have to continue this story?

Soon I will be 30 no longer a young girl can I still jump around like this?

I'm supposed to usher some guests up today..................

Next week I will be taking minutes, set up projector, order drinks blah blah!

:((((((((((((((((((((( x infinity!!!

This morning I was just thinking of working hard so I old can relax now so fast give up.. :(((

I'm getting kinda sick of this type of job. How sia?

What job is suitable for me?

Which area will I excel?

How's my career path like?

How long more do I have to work to achieve financial freedom?

Stuff like that. Lol! At least I got a target and won't keep think of giving up working..

And yes, I know le.. Can't depend on my dad to let me become a missy liao.. ;(

Cannot you be $3.30 and I be $3.50 le.. ;(

Guess we are fated to be an average family ba.. I will give up my air castle..

Now just gotta work hard and find out what is my passion and work towards it!!

And he told me ppl are not what they seem and he won't be rude like those jerks!!! *cries*

That erm considerably sized girl's photo right, I sent to a boy and he didn't stop talking to me yet! He told me that it's rude and ppl are not what they seem to be when I told him ppl stopped talking to me after seeing "my photo"!!

FYI!! He sent me his photo and OMG!! he is freaking cute ok!!!!!! Like one of those Johnny's!!!!!!!

Wahhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!! I getting very high dunno for what. ROFL!

21 year old xiao di di.. Lol!

But who knows! He might stop talking soon? Must face the fact that humans quite realistic.

And I really I don't know. Just sensed that "am i really giving him the wrong signals?"

One of my friend told me la.. She said I'm giving him wrong signals like that! Referring to the first time I went out with him.

I didn't really wanted to go but I felt that I really got no friends leh.. Thought make another friend would be good? Since ppl keep telling me it is good to mix around and know more ppl blah blah. But I guess I still can't change my attitude. I can't wear masks. Just can't do it!

Anyway I seriously don't like to go out with him. I double confirm this. He never tell me exactly where we are going, the itinerary or whatsoever. Then we just walk and walk and walk to so many fxxking places. From Somerset walk to orchard to buy something that I want then from orchard walk back to Somerset then to dhoby ghaut!

Actually I feel no topic to talk about and a bit 痛苦 about that.. Then I felt like going home. After he finished with his business at dhoby ghaut, he asked me if I had other plans. I said no then I thought we going to go home le! He suddenly told me to follow him and guess what? we went into an arcade! Like so dots! I don't really like arcades! Too noisy for me and I don't play games. He asked me to play those basketball machine with him which of cuz I didn't want to. I wandered away here and there watching other ppl play.

Luckily I was sms-ing with one of my friend and he entertained me. Otherwise I think I would have died of boredom. And throughout our lunch I just kept SMS with my friend and smiling away and stifling giggles from his replies. We were talking rubbish about going back to this shop to book this pretty girl to serve us only. Lol!

Very rude towards that guy hor? Should be a very obvious sign that I not interested right?

Anyway after his game ended I thought can leave le but no! He never said anything and continued to walk around in the arcade looking at other games! Leaving me catching up and gaping.

In the end I couldn't take it and told him I'm leaving. I'm meeting another friend at 6pm -- it was 520pm then I think. Then he still ignore what I said and told me to play a game with him. I told him I don't play games and wanted to go already! I need to meet my friend! He just proceeded to select VS human instead of VS computer. Then he said very fast just play a match. I glared at him, rolled my eyes and threw him a dirty look. I sat down and tried to play but obviously I don't get what the game is about and died within 5 minutes as expected. Then I asked him if he still wanted to continue playing then he stayed on to play and I left heaving a sigh of relief when I walked to the escalator. Very mean right? Dont know la I can't stand his way of doing things, sorry.

I have my own weird character and temper too. I have no wish to compromise if you are not going to do the same. The very basic is to tell me beforehand where we going and what after that and not just : "dress differently and dun wear heels and will walk a bit." Like WTF????

Btw, we went to this ramen restaurant that was not too bad just too much pork for my liking. The only plus point was there was a cute Japanese waiter! :D

And the fxxked up thing was. I alr told him I suspect that gyoza was pork then he kept saying is chicken. I tried eating the meat and it tasted like pork. I know more than 10 years nv eat pork le how I know the taste right? I mean it doesn't taste chicken-ish la so I guess should be pork and according to my understanding towards Japanese culture, should be pork la. Then he called the waiter and asked what meat. Then indeed, my suspicions were confirmed. It was pork.

Ass lo. I had the runs that night. My stomach hurt like hell. I put plenty of medicated oil even my mum commented : "wah why you put so much oil? I can smell you even from out here."

I was alr on my bed and my mum was in the living room. You can imagine how much oil I poured. Of cuz I can't tell her say oh I ate tio pork today and now stomachache right?

Anyway I think he can tell I was bored and not happy with his way of dealing things, hopefully.

I should have continued to let him mistake that I got bf. Or maybe he will continue to mistake since I was SMS-ing furiously with my friend and couldn't help smiling away.

Conclusion: it's hard to find someone you can click with. Cherish that person well if you can find him/her.

If you can't change the attitude of others towards you, then you should change yourself.

Changing yourself is a long and tedious journey. Once you start, you should follow to the end.

I know.

Totally.way.out.of.my.league.

But I can't help it but to steal glances at him whenever possible~~~~!!

He's really cute!

Just that.................. We don't talk at all. Not even a hi!!

So on thurs when he was talking to one of the people I know then I was leaving he said "bye" to me cuz I was looking at the one that I know and they were talking to each other.. He polite said bye also together with the one that I know.. Whatever!! You get my meaning?!!

My conclusion is: OH MY GOD. he just said BYE to me!!! ME!!!!!!!!!

Lol.. Very silly I know.. Like some xiao mei mei.. Haha!!

Anyway when I never sian before?

Oh! Only when I was not working.

F this! You better wake up your idea!!!!!!! :(

Wah lao eh.. My market value really so bad meh.. I mean ya la I know my market value should be rather low maybe negative lol and I kinda starting to feel sorry for myself for being zero value and still bo market.. :(

The culture here really very different..

My 精神支柱 cum part time counsellor is on leave!

Sorry ah, eric's girl.. I may be bugging him a little for the time now.. But during office hours only.. LOL..

I just got myself a new job and I suck at adapting to new environments. Very hum ji and insecure about my future. I needed some form of confirmation from someone.. I want to whine to my other friends but this thing sibei lau kui I very shy to let them know I'm such a crybaby. I must maintain a cool look in front of them.. Haha..

Eric see me lau kui too many times from fall down, trying to ka jiao my pri sch crush, copy his homework, fail spelling and exams, nv do homework kena 罚站 by teacher so he know my secret that I'm damn lousy and uncool even though I got this intelligent and independent look.. Lol.. So I have to bother him..

After I adapt to the new environment liao I think I will throw him aside again liao.. :x

But now I thinking should I try to join back my old job......... I really dunno............. Hai.......... :(

How?

I hope tomorrow will turn out well.. >_<