Well.. Perhaps I'm just such a bitch.. Fickle-minded bitch.. =\

I know that we don't click so I attempted to "end the game" during our first outing together.. Acting like I've known him for 10 years or something..

I kept doing stuff like silly pranks, cracking jokes.. Apparently he didn't get it..

But one thing is for certain..

He has also felt that I'm not the one he's looking for..

I don't know.. Perhaps I feel reluctant to let it go now because I enjoy the fact that someone was probably attracted to me? Or because I had attention and I liked it?

Well.. I know these are only temporary.. Until one day he gets to know the real deal..

I guess.. I did the right thing by ending it early so that I will not be blinded by this "fake attention" and allow myself to sink into this silly "quicksand"?

I should get over it soon..

I should learn to be independent..

Not to be a leech.. Latching onto people..

Go Michy!! That's the right spirit!! BE INDEPENDENT!! Aja Aja Fighting!!

Labels: randomness

HIM #13

am i really such a fickle bitch?

he sms-ed me good morning today..

we went out together today.. actually before we went out was kinda annoyed? i mean i want to wear what i like.. was he challenging me?! i was seriously pissed..

never mind that.. i felt super annoyed and reluctant to go out.. haha.. in the end i did..

i didnt wear t shirt and shorts.. thank god.. cuz nobody in singapore art museum actually wore that.. lol..

i reached early and waited for him for some time..

we went to singapore art museum.. looked around.. he really liked art.. for me i'm alright with it..

then we reached an exhibition that was really empty and quiet.. we sat down and we kinda chatted? and i dunno what made me tell him personal stuff about my family.. hello?! i dun really know this guy!!

i mean perhaps cuz he was such a deep thinker.. the way he posed his questions made me share naturally..

i told him to stop being so formal.. but he said how to define formal? ok.. it's his character.. he has good upbringing.. very polite.. got manners.. he liked to call a person by his name and he likes ppl to call him by his name too.. weird eh.. but i guess that's just manners..

we talked a lot..

then he asked me about my thoughts of some art pieces.. i dun really know how to appreciate art lah..

he once wanted to be a curator in a museum.. wtf.. that was my ambition too! lol..

he doesnt scold vulgarities.. he said that's not the kinda person he wants to be.. he wanted to be treated like an adult blah blah..

after museum we went to a hawker centre to eat..

ya he also said that i'm hard to please! i told him i dun like soya bean milk blah blah.. lol..

then we went to meet his colleague.. pass something to her.. then we went to the library.. borrowed some books.. he's very interested in different religions.. for me i dun really care.. so when he asked me stuff i was like stunned.. and i told him.. ah.. you are giving me a headache.. lol..

after library.. we went to mac but no seats.. so we walked back to my estate? then we started chatting again..

throughout our interaction the whole day, i guess.. it would be best that we just remain as frenz.. i dunno what the future holds but ya..

i dun mean that he's not good.. he's very sophisticated, refined, learned, polite, artistic and gentlemanly but i just feel that.. he's not what i'm looking for.. i got commitment phobia la.. confirmed!

every time when there's a door.. he would open it and hold it for me.. i mean it's great but subsequently i was kinda irked.. for me cuz i guess my character is somehow boyish.. so.. i dun really mind such details..

in the end i told him dun need to hold it.. it like super formal to me.. like so distant.. not familiar.. he said that he does it to all female population.. he believe that is the right way a guy should behave..

oh he said that in my company, the one that looked friendliest was me.. dun bullshit sia!! everyone always commented that i am look unfriendly, dao, arrogant, hao lian etc..

he said that every time he smiled at me i would smile back but the rest of the ppl in my dept nv smile at him when he smile at them..

bullshit lah! lol.. they tell me that he walk with his head high.. who to believe! lol..

actually i smiled to him cuz i was attracted to him.. HAHAHAHA!! no but it is in me that if you smile at me first then i smile back. talk to me first then i answer..

he walked me home.. to my lift actually.. that's not too bad..

there's something called love at first sight but it kinda dies after you get to know the person better..

he doesnt like fat ppl.. biased.. f him.. what's wrong with fat ppl! rawr!! =\

fire and sparks died out.

however, i think i was sending wrong signals?

when we crossed the road, i grabbed his arm.. i scared of being knocked down.. he said he was a PROFESSIONAL JAYWALKER! hello?!~ i am not! and i have so many unfulfilled dreams! i havent seen my korean idols in real life, not forgetting my "i want to be an officer's wife" dream!!

when we in a crowd.. i held onto his shirt when i was walking behind him.. i hate crowds! i got phobia when in crowds..

when we were climbing this steep slope to go mac, i grabbed his arm too cuz it was too steep.. i wearing a super short dress can.. my flats were slippery.. he not really gentlemanly actually.. if he really was.. he would have offered his hand out to me.. but he didnt.. sucks.. what a great pretender.. =\

DIE.. i sending wrong signals right?

it was just my natural reaction i mean i'll do it to anyone who is near me.. oh no.. i hope he dun get the wrong idea..

Labels: him

jia you jia you jia you!!!!!!!!! you can do it!! have some confidence and faith in yourself!

you are not bothering or irritating me.. i'm serious! it's cool to let off steam sometimes.. i'm always the one whining to you so actually it's kind of unfair to you to be on the receiving end all the time.. haa.. =)

---

actually i woke up at 615am the next day to post this rubbish because i didnt get to use the pc yesterday.. lol~

#HIM 12

Well.............. today he came in at 11am+.. his work ended at 3am yesterday..

today he wore a pair of specs and didnt style his hair.. it made him really nerdy.. but some people are so mean.. they said he looked so mountain tortoise and cant look at me cuz they will laugh as they will be reminded of him.. -_-

i mean come on lah! what's wrong?

at the first glance is shock, after see a few times i thought it was alright.. he had those nerdy look that i thought was cute..

i'm sorry my range of cute very wide. i love nerds cuz i'm one of them ya?

but i didnt really look at him the whole day.. he must have sensed that too! haha! was i in denial too? whatever!

i didnt sms him first!! i waited like i was advised..

hmmm.. he sms-ed me at around 2pm i think? he asked if i was having lunch alone..

i wasnt, i had lunch with my colleague.. she paid for me AGAIN.. i dun wanna owe her so much favours! but she keep insist on paying.. =\

after that we just asked each other the regular who did you lunch with, did you stay till very late yesterday blah blah..

after that at 3pm i decided to charge my mobile so.............. i didnt really reply till it was nearly 6pm.. cuz my current workstation only has power supply for 2 plugs, my computer.. so i had to charge at my actual desk.. i'm not sitting at my own seat currently..

but the weird thing was that during like 4 - 5pm.. i actually bumped into him at the toilet passageway.. i swear this is a freaking coincidence.. i got a shock.. i said "Hi!" then i dunno what to say.. he had the same reaction too.. Just the stunned "Hi!" and the awkward silence of dunno what to say.. want to say something etc.. i mean.. seriously it's just weird.. then i walked away.. hahaha!

after i replied him at 6pm.. he asked me if i wanna go home together.. he used an exclamation mark.. "wanna go home together!"

then oh no.. i smelt trouble brewing..

i mean for me personally..

i must be crazy.. there must be something wrong with me.. serious..

i actually kinda felt irked!! i mean i dunno why.. but i was kinda irritated.. i guess i am so used to being alone.. this sudden two people activity was kinda getting on my nerves.. lol.. i dun mean that i dun like having company.. but i just............. i dunno!! (ya i agree with you that i am very hard to please.. lol..)

you are so right.. even if i met a good guy.. i'll never be able to get attached..

crap.. am i really destined to be an old spinster? *cries*

i asked my colleague.. should i go home with him!!

damn cute.. she wrote yes and no on two pieces of paper.. and i picked tio "YES! =)"

she said it's destiny!!!!!

haha!! so bo liao right..

so i said ok but i'm leaving at 630pm..

he replied "645 ok?"

i really dun wanna stay any longer in "hell" so i turned to my colleague again and whined that i dun wanna wait!! i just wanna go homeeeeeee!!

she must be thinking.. this girl very weird seh.. lol~

he sms me that if i'm in a rush, pls dun wait.. i'm sorry =(

wah lao eh.. like that lo! i soft hearted..

in the end i said i had nothing on but just didnt want to stay in office any longer..

he replied where are you?

i dunno!! i just felt funny! like.............. i was being controlled or what seh!! f lah i think i'm having commitment phobia? haha!!

i mean he wasnt even there waiting yet ma!

i sms back.. in the toilet.. haha!

i was actually taking out my bag and preparing to leave alr.. -_-

in the end i waited for him at tower one and he waited for me at tower two.. when he called me, i didnt hear cuz it was on volume 1 and i have bad hearing.. i called back.. then i dunno.. i thought i heard irritation in his voice when we were discussing about where are you blah blah.. are you coming over.. then i guess i must have been showing a buay song voice too? i think i said.. "yes yes.. okok.. i'm walking over now" i heard him say sorry.. machiam like i was the one being super mean.. super ba dao.. kaoz..

aiyah.. i seriously......... dunno..... i think being friends is the best option still.. oh no.. f.. am i starting to resist him alr? =\

at this rate.. i'll never make any new friends i tell you..

argh whatever. then when he saw me he gave me a big smile which totally made me feel guilty.. -_-

he told me he sent a sms that tell me he waiting at tower two.. then i said i didnt receive! did you send! he checked his mobile and i was like.. you didnt send right!! he said he did send and seems like my phone is not receiving sms..

hmmmmmmm... i feel that we've come to a point like.. we dun really have much topic to talk alr? that's like so wtf? i mean we only started consistent interactivity for like.. i dunno is this day two or day three? haha!

i feel that he's a very serious person? when he sms me.. kinda like so formal? i cant seem to bring myself to be like joking etc..

when i got home, after some serious and impulse considerations, i smsed him.. to ask if we are still going out tmr.. cuz he might have to go back to work.. that's a programmer's life for you. =\

he actually replied with Hi! that's like i dunno.. so formal.. so distant.. -_-

anyway he will only confirm at 1pm.. then we go out in the evening.. seriously........ i hate going out at night.. -_- well unless there's like personal transport? else i really detest it.. taking a late train/bus etc.. i dunno. i is sibei weird de person..

then i told him if he's busy then nvm, there's always a next time.. (should i do an MIA tmr? i'm getting cold feet about going home late.. LOL)

he said ok.. then what hope that i'll have a good night..

then i replied that he should sleep early since he didnt have enough slp.. (he ended work at 3am.. reached home at 4am.. slept at 430am and woke up at 830am to prepare to go to work.. that's a programmer's life for you.. =X)

he told me he's doing his laundry..

i replied that.. "wow.. someone has been very hardworking.."

he said ya he has been doing it since he was 21..

i mean it's just a joke.. i'm trying to be funny with him.. cant he get it??? lol..

then he ask me what i'm doing..

i thought i should be bo liao and told him i'm sitting on my bed, enjoying the fan, doing nothing, sms-ing him.. (which actually is the truth..)

then he ask me why dun i go watch tv or something.. there's a v nice documentary on national geographic.. HAHA! SCARED RIGHT.. i think he also got commitment phobia seh! hahahahahaha!!

sorry but i aint gonna watch any documentary.. my sis was using the pc, my bro bathe finish liao want to play ps3.. waste electricity sia!

so i told him that i'm trying to save electricity.. my mum's been complaining about the bills and i'm actually sitting in the dark too.. fan is to dry my hair and lull me to sleep.. (which is the truth) i shant disturb you any further enjoy your documentary! =)

he replied.. alrighty, talk to you later..

so i stopped replying.

fyi.. he nv sms me later..

i really hate it when people say.. "hey! talk to you later" "sms you later" "call you later" then that person never talk/sms/call! dun give promises so easily when you aint gonna fulfill them later! i get seriously irritated seh!

i told him no need to be so formal to me.. he still formal.. =\

maybe to me it's formal but to him it's manners?

and............ i find that he quite self-centred too?

he sees no need to have a fb acct.. he say he's too busy bothering about his own life, problems etc to have time to bother about others..

i asked him directly.. isnt that like self centred? i think he got a shock.. haha! he start to tell me his theory of what example, his bro eat liao dun wanna wash the dishes, leave in the sink then when his mum come back see the mess get angry and both party unhappy.. like that his bro very selfish, nv think of consequences.. that is then self-centred..

wah seh.. we are on diff frequency liao sia!! to me.. if you dun bother to know about the updates in other ppl's life but only your own life, that is self-centred liao..

he doesnt share his happiness etc.. he keeps it to himself..

i threw another bomb.. how do your friends know if you are happy then? he got another shock i think! haha! he said i guess they'll know.. then i said if you dun tell.. who knows?

then he told me his theory.. he used to be very depressed, always complaining but still sitting on his ass and doing nothing abou it, just complain to his frenz but then he realised that it will start to get annoying to his frenz.. he said shouldnt let his negativity affect other ppl etc.. and that to him if you tell out, just seeking attention, pity from others etc..

so he's not like that anymore.. he only shows his positive side to others.. and he will do something about it and not sit on his ass..

ya actually i agree with him.. always being negative will annoy people someday.. BUT AM I SERIOUSLY REALLY THAT ANNOYING?! =((((((

pls tell me if i am annoying you.. i will try my best to change.. thanks!!!!!!

ps.. he kinda remembers what i said? i said i v lazy.. i always take the escalator down in the mrt station.. we alighted at the one near to the stairs.. he actually pointed to the escalator and asked "escalator?" when we alighted.. O_o

then he walked me to the traffic light.. i can cross overhead bridge outside the mrt la it is nearer but i thought we can talk a bit more if i accompanied him to walk to the bus interchange.. i can cross at the traffic light to get home too..

he's 29.. he thought i was only 22.. haha!! felt like telling him "wah lao eh! dun lie lah! i look so chao lao lo.. HAHA!!" but he nv speak a word of singlish to me before? when i talk to him, occasionally my singlish would come out.. maybe most of the time? i dunno.. singlish makes me feel like more close to the person?

i actually put my head closer to him when he talk cuz i cant hear.. he had to repeat himself a few times.. i told him mrt too noisy.. HAHA! i think i really need hearing aids.. =\

shit.. was that like.. am i showing signs of what.. trying to be closer to him? sia lah.. cannot lah! now i suddenly feel that.. perhaps we dont really click.. i shouldnt send wrong signals..

oh.. he's cantonese.. but weird eh.. by his surname should be either teochew or hokkien what..

he ask if i am cantonese also.. i said mine is categorised in hokkien..

a normal person would ask.. categorised? what is it? but he nv ask! he like just oh ok..

then yest when we went lunch together, i met my fren, a guy.. i waved excitedly at my fren while walking past each other.. he just jitao ignored my excited waving and my fren.. nv look at him etc.. i said.. my classmate.. he nv even answer back!! he just talk about his things..

i dunno.. self-centred lah!

and.. that day we went home together for the first time, it was raining right.. we shared umbrella but i realised he was sheltering himself more than me! i was getting wet seh! maybe is the way he hold the umbrella but then i seriously felt that he was sheltering himself more.

it's not that i'm being petty about this ok.. just being observant.. whether he is really gentlemanly or selfish.. guys.. a reminder.. remember to shelter the girl more if you are sharing umbrellas! else sibei bad impression liao!!

oh... suddenly dawned on me.. did he not style his hair cuz he wanted to test whether it was just a physical attraction or not?

seriously.. i'm being a bitch.. i admit i was attracted to his hair..

but who am i to judge people when i myself dun even bother to improve or care about my looks, my dressing sense blah blah..

but really.. i am having serious doubts.. are we actually really clicking or is it all just a forced horrible one-sided affair..

woot!! finished typing all this stupid rubbish at 819am.. haha!

Labels: him

HIM #11

Today I saw him.. I forced myself not to look at him.. But failed miserably..

I saw him go towards the direction of the pantry..

Ya.. I went too!! But I didn't get to meet him.. He was in the toilet I guess..

I went into the toilet and started scolding myself for my ridiculous actions.. Attempting to make "coincidences", sending myself to his doorstep..

Then when I came out.. As luck would have it, he was walking out from the pantry.. almost can't see me because of the wall blocking the passageway to the toilet... He actually turned his head and stopped to look at me.. WOW..

Then he asked me "Would you like to join me for lunch? What time is your lunch?"

I told him "1pm.. But what time is yours?"

He said "alright, then 1pm we meet at the entrance?"

ya definitely i said yes..

then i asked him what time did he stay back till.. what about today.. the air-con would be turned off at 8pm right.. it would be very stuffy.. do you want to borrow my fan, i have a fan on my table..

then he told me he would be going to the other tower.. then i said.. oh.. okay..

then we parted ways..

after that we didnt have any chance to talk to each other except for a brief smile when he walked past me..

then it was 1pm.. my heart was already thumping like crazy when it was 1245pm..

then when it was 1pm.. i went to my seat.. i saw him looking at my direction.. i looked back and he was waving at me.. i waved back and we both pointed at the direction of the door..

we went out.. then i asked him where he want to go and eat.. he said he want to go to the market.. then i said okay.. i told him usually i will bring umbrella to shield the sun but never mind it today.. i told him later he will know why..

he asked me how long i have been eating alone.. i told him for about a year after my colleague quit..

he said he quite like to lunch alone too.. then i was like "me too! i can always wander around after i finish my lunch.." i told him my usual hangout after lunch.. the children's section in some bookstore because the air con was stronger and not much ppl will go in.. haha!

then he told me about his job environment.. poor thing.. the people are really harsh.. with worse attitude than mine! =\

he's very nice.. he told me he will find a seat and asked me to go queue for my food first.. haha!

then we started to talk.. then i realised.. omg.. we actually had a lot in common..

well.. according to him..

he does not have plenty of friends that he adds on msn.. lol.. he only has around 10 friends..

he loves history a lot..

he loves literature a lot..

he likes going to museums..

he does not have many friends..

he does not like the sun..

he stays home a lot..

whenever he goes out with his friends, he would be the one listening.. no topic to talk..

he also question himself if he really is so anti social..

he dont like having to pretend to be someone else.. he dont like to socialise.. cuz he thinks it's very fake..

he prefers going vegan.. so he feels that he's bringing pressure/trouble to his frenz whenever they go out to eat.. that's like omg.. i know this feeling! lol..

he actually wanted to try dragonboating.. =\

thank god he has to give tuition so he cant go.. i cant believe me embarrassing myself in front of him..

i noticed that he has a habit of biting his nails.. lol.. am i like turning super stalkerish? LOL..

he does not have fb.. (who knows really or not?)

he's applying for PR in another country so i guess it's really pointless.. just make another anti social friend would be good enough..

he told me that he is saving a lot of money.. he even supported himself thru uni.. he doesnt take allowances from his parents.. wah........

he actually went backpacking alone last year.. he said it was a great experience..

he told me to learn to be independent.. if i always wanted company to do something.. then.. if i cant find company i wont go.. so even if 10 years past, i still cant find company then i will nv do it..

when you do it.. though alone, you gain something.. but if you keep waiting.. you lose out.. it's very difficult to take the first step to independence, it's hard at first but after that you will feel better..

that was his advice..

he washes his own laundry.. then he would cook some stuff for himself.. he likes being independent.. =\

he never waste food eh.. i kinda felt bad.. he would eat his food without complain cuz he said it's disrespectful to complain and not eat blah blah..

omg.. that's what i've been doing everyday.. haha!!

he asked me if i want to go to the museum this sat.. cuz i told him i want to go but i cant find company.. *cue in the independence talk*

then i said i thought you have to give tuition.. he said it's in the morning.. we can go in the afternoon.. then i said ok..

then he asked.. do you want to like exchange numbers?

i gave him my number.. then he was like.. this is a real number right? not a fake one? looks quite fake..

i challenged him to call me.. but he stored the wrong number! *&!@(!@&*!@()

in the end i told him, i'll call you!

hahahahaha!! first time i exchange number with someone like that.. lol..

he asked me for my surname and asked if it's okay.. cuz some ppl dun like to reveal their surname but he likes to save with surnames.. wth.. this is like so me.. i also like to save ppl's name with their surnames in my hp!! HOLY SHIT.. i didnt tell anyone before but when he said that i was like.. "ME TOO!"

i asked him for his chinese name.. sorry i forgot what is his chinese name liao.. rofl..

oh ya he paints everything.. now he's painting photos that he took in vietnam.. nice..

i cant remember we talked about what..

but i think he was saying about this book describing the landscape, scenery.. like so nice.. he said he believe it's real cuz he has seen it abroad..

then i dun remember talking about what but then we had this common thing.. that is we want to escape to a countryside.. where there's beautiful scenery and away from this bustling city.. *cue in me too me too*

wth........... this is so crazy.. i'm like looking at myself but not entirely myself cuz i lack his courage to do things.. i'm afraid..

oh.. he talked about not eating fried food.. he doesnt like it..

he likes to eat chili a lot..

he treated me to a drink.. though i said i wanted to pay for it.. he said it's free.. on him.. lol..

then we were talking about some stuff.. then omg.. i was drinking and i choked upon hearing it.. my drink in my mouth nearly fly out.. so paiseh.. lol.. aiyah whatever!! i gotta think that he is just a friend!! so i'm not afraid to lose face in front of him.. haha!!

now.........................

playing the waiting game.. i gotta wait for him to sms me first!! i dun want first step!! lol..

Labels: him

HIM #10

Today we didn't really have the chance to talk to each other..

We said Hi to each other..

Then I met him at the toilet passageway..

He asked me when was my lunch time.. i told him 1pm but i'm famished.. then he said okay.. but i guess he was a bit disappointed with my response? i was quite..... how to say.. i finished my piece and i turned into the toilet.. lol..

then after that we didnt meet each other..

until!! i was going for lunch.. actually i saw him carry his laptop up.. so i delayed a few seconds, telling a lot of people that i'm going for lunch..

and yes! i went out.. he came out too.. we met at the lift lobby..

he asked if i was going for lunch.. (obviously!)

i said ya.. then he asked where i was going.. then i said probably the market.. then he said.. oh.. it's very warm but it should be less crowded now..

then i asked him if he's going to his office.. he said that he was going for a meeting and tmr he had to stay overnight.. they are deploying a program at 10pm! WTH!

was thinking of lending him my fan.. cuz the office turns stuffy at 8pm.. the air con would be switched off..

then he asked me what time i'm going home..

i told him 645.. i couldnt wake up today.. then i asked him what about you?

he told me.. should be same time as me.. then he gave me a knowing smile..

was that like a hint that he want to go home together?

he nv said it out so i also wont wait.. that's like sending myself to his doorstep.. that's what i told myself.. but in my heart.. i knew i was waiting desperately..

when i came back from lunch.. did scanning.. he came back..

he said hi to me.. asked me where did i go for lunch.. what did i eat.. i went to the market and it was very warm and i cant stand the heat.. i told him i had a craving for duck noodles so i ate that.. then he told me.. next time he will try it too.. then he smiled at me and walked away..

after that.. we didnt have any interaction..

then when i did scanning.. someone came from behind and anyhow hit my keyboard.. then i saw him walking away smiling.. then i was like "hey~~~~! haha.."

one of my colleague saw.. then she asked me.. "wah.. so happy ah?"

crappy are we like becoming so obvious?

then i think he went for meeting? cuz i spied at his desk and i didnt see him.. i saw him come back at 6plus... then i was thinking.. are we going home together? really?

i looked over but he didnt look at me...

then my colleague told me that when she was keeping her stuff, she saw him keep looking at my direction..

then why when i looked at his direction i didnt see that?

when it was nearing 645.. i was very nervous.. i told myself.. since he didnt want to ask for my contact, i should just leave.. let him know the feeling that "aish! i should have gotten her contact so we can meet.."

but i know i was anticipating.. waiting.. yearning..

but i decided i had to show that i am no easy girl who will deliver myself to his doorstep..

as i was grabbing my bag, i saw him walking to the toilet.. then he looked at me.. smiled and waved and mouthed "bye!"

i waved and said bye too..

i had this strange feeling..

that he had intentionally walked to the toilet at the time.. just to show me that he is still around.. too bad i didnt walk up to him to chat.. but then again! if i walked up to chat.. it shows that i am so desperate for him! which is like.. NO WAY!

well.........................

he's of a completely different level than me.. i'm a sure loser!!

just go with the flow now.. i guess..

two can play this waiting game!!

just that..

i'm seriously a goner.. i am really smitten..

When he's in the room, I can't stop myself from looking at his direction. My heart starts to beat very fast and I become so nervous that I find it very difficult to breathe. When he's not at his seat, my eyes would scan around for him.

I can't do my work properly.. it's affecting me.. stupid me.. i should never do this.. i shouldnt have let him into my heart..

i should start ignoring his presence and concentrate on my work!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

f lah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Labels: him

What does it mean when you have already hinted the obvious "I'm telling you to get my number from me already!! We always can have some activities outside together!!" but the guy just smiles at you and replies "Okay!" but he did not even ask you for your contact? Then the next day he smiles and talks to you whenever he sees you but still he doesn't ask anything.. Crap.. Nowadays even GUYS are playing hard to get huh?

HIM #9

when he came in, he looked at me and smiled.. he said hi and morning.. he totally ignored his female colleague who opened the door for him.. it's like his focus is on me! is that a tactic or what! cause it worked! PS: his colleague actually glared at me.. =\

then he walked past to get water.. he went like "Hi Michelle! oh i fell asleep in the bus yesterday! but i managed to wake up and go to the gym.. i met my friends there! i was so happy to see them!" cue in his cute smiles..

then at 12pm.. he walked past and again! "Hi Michelle! i've decided to go to the market you mentioned yesterday.. What time is your lunch?" which sadly mine was at 1pm and he was going at 12pm.. then we said our goodbyes..

when he got back from lunch.. damn funny.. the door opened, he smiled at me immediately and said "i went there! it was very hot!" so cute sia! then i asked him what did he have for lunch.. and he asked whether i was going for lunch..

then after that we didnt have any encounter.. except the time when i saw him walking to the pantry from the corner of my eye and i looked.. and guess what.. he caught me!! !*(@&(*!@#&*

he smiled at me and i smiled back..

then that was it.. when he walked past, he didnt stop to chat or anything..

then evening.. i suddenly heard a voice say "i noticed that you change your places a lot.." then i turned and he was beside me.. lol.. i answered him "ya.. i move around a lot and i dont stay at my seat.." i asked him what time will he be going home today.. he told me most probably 8plus.. what about me.. i told him i'm leaving at 630pm.. i want to run away.. then he laughed and walked away..

when he walked back, i asked him how did he manage to wake up on the stop he's supposed to alight? he told me that he only slept for 5 minutes.. then he asked me if those korean dvd that i bought were with english subtitles.. yes he cant read chinese.. then he asked me excitedly if i know the website mysoju.. there's english subs but the links are broken.. then after that we ended our conversation..

i dont know.. i still cant figure him out yet.. =\

if he said the next time he will come swimming at the swimming complex near my house, i told him to call me along.. though i cant swim but we can meet for lunch or dinner.. isn't this an obvious "ASK FOR MY NUMBER!" hint? he just smiled and answered "okay"

so i thought i should try again..

i asked if he knows how to cycle.. he said yes.. so i told him.. if you are going to cycle, call me! cause i tried asking my friends but none of them want to cycle! again he smiled and said "okay" =\

he asked me why dont i buy a bicycle and cycle to the mrt station everyday.. is that like.. another form of obvious rejection but i didnt get it just like how he didnt get my obvious hint?

then DON'T TALK AND SMILE SO HAPPILY AT ME!! YOU ARE GIVING ME THE WRONG IMPRESSIONS!!

Labels: him

HIM #8

today was the craziest..

i thought we would never have any interaction again today but i was so wrong..

he didn't look at my direction anymore..

but during the second time he walked to the pantry, he looked and i saw.. he smiled and i waved at him..

i thought that the day would pass like that again..

i tried to make "coincidences" happen but i always missed him!

then i thought.. "this is it, just give it up already!"

half a day passed..

i was filing some customer documents at the counter.. I heard a very loud "Hi!" i turned and squeaked "Hi"

my colleague heard and said "Wow! You have an admirer! Someone said Hi to you!"

I tried to explain that he knows me because i opened the door for him a few times.. but she ignored my explanations.. lol..

then i dropped a stack of envelopes and i said "SHIT!"

as i bent to pick it up, he was there.. he picked it up for me.. and my colleague said something without turning her head behind to see.. "After that guy said Hi to you, you can't work and dropped the envelopes?"

i just wanted to die and dig a hole to hide!! i actually covered my face.. it must have been a really funny situation to watch..

and i must have blushed really hard..

i asked him if he was very busy.. as usual he would say that he was busy.. then i asked if there was a project deadline or something as i saw them having mini discussions.. he actually had a deadline yesterday, on a sunday! and this morning.. then i told him.. i better not hold him up and talk to him later..

my colleague told me that he walk smiling to himself as he walked away..

then he was walking out with his laptop.. we waved at each other and i asked if he was going to his other office.. then he suddenly asked me what time i was going home! i explained a truckload of rubbish of why i go home at different timings but i guess he didnt get it.. haha! then after that he waved to me and left..

it was raining in the evening.. i saw him come back at 5++..

at 6+, he was walking to the pantry.. then i looked at him and he looked at me.. he was mouthing why i havent gone back yet.. i stood up from my seat and walked up to him.. he stopped in his tracks.. i told him, it's raining.. do you have an umbrella? he told me yes.. then i asked him what time was he going home.. he told me he should be going home at the same time as me and he asked if i want to go home together with him.. and yes, i said yes.. we agreed to meet downstairs..

yes a lot of people saw but so what.. cant i talk to my friend? ;)

it's very weird.. we dont have each others' contact.. we just said meet downstairs..

when i went down, he was there waiting.. =)

then he saw my umbrella he said "wow.. that's a big umbrella!"

i told him i dont want to get wet and was afraid that the rain was heavy..

then as he was about to open his umbrella, i opened mine and automatically sheltered him.. i was being nice alright?

then he did something that i was kinda left with a seriously good impression.. "oh i should be the one holding it.." he took the umbrella from me and sheltered me.. awwww..

we walked to the mrt station and talked about various stuff..

interests, work, school blah blah..

his interests are very special..

he paints and reads.. but that was before he worked at that company..

now he has no social life.. his life consists of working because of the deadlines..

they have to go back to work on weekends too.. that totally sucks.. lol..

sometimes he dont even have time to go church.. =\

he used to help out at SPCA.. he's a member..

he told me he havent been to the gym for about 2 months already..

some people just dont get fat even if they eat at 1130pm or later and sleep at 1am plus!! =(

he does hiking and canoing.. he likes nature a lot..

he wants to work overseas..

he studied in australia.. he can speak mandarin but can't read mandarin.. that is so funny.. haha!

he loves stripes.. haha! cute sia.. when i asked if he liked stripes a lot.. i always see him in stripes.. he was so excited.. he told me that he like stripes and he doesn't like boring shirts.. haha!

the channels he watch are national geographic, discovery and history channel..

he's nice.. really nice.. but i think.. best to stay as a friend..

and ya.. he never asked for any form of contact from me! =\

perhaps i should have just crossed the overhead bridge instead of going to the bus interchange with him.. he said goodbye to me TWICE!!

is he chasing me away? =(

i just wanted to ask some more questions only.. nothing more.. =(



PS: my that fortune-telling colleague told me to stop looking for love and concentrate on my work.. when fate is here, nothing can be stop it..

Labels: him

I just got this tarot reading..

not superstitious but....... =(


Feelings
Explanation of your feelings
The Upside-Down Two of Cups
You will again not find the real happiness. Only, you will think that you have found but after some time, you will understand that the person is not the person that you are looking for. You will be sad because of the foolishness.

HIM #7

yesterday i didnt have any chance to talk to him at all..

he saw me then he smiled but suddenly he turned and walked away!

then i never got to see him anymore for the whole day..



today.....

i was waiting....... and waiting and waiting.....

finally he came.. the door was wide open.. then i saw him!!

he was wearing specs today..

i gave him a surprised look and put my hand to my specs and asked.. "you wear specs?"

actually i knew he wore specs.. =P

he smiled and said "ya.." suddenly i thought it might be rude.. perhaps he thought that i was making fun of him wearing specs..

so i quickly said "you look rather cute in it.."

he said "thanks." then he walked to his seat..

that was the one and only time we had any interaction..

after that.. he didnt talk to me at all..

and i really thought that he was very cute in specs.. i told him something that should have only been kept in my heart.. ooopssss.. hehe..

then when i walked to his area to retrieve something.. he looked at me.. but he didnt smile.. then he looked away.. *ouch*

so when i walked out of the area back to my seat, i didnt look at him.. i was sorta feeling i dunno.. a sense of rejection? =\

just didnt want to be "rejected" again..

i guess there's a deadline or something.. they were having like major discussions etc..

i've come to some conclusions..

A) He's too busy to talk..
B) He has lost interest..
C) I should just stop looking at him from now on..
D) I should start treating him just as another regular hi and bye friend..
E) All of the above..

i choose E..

but crappy.. i think i've fallen into his trap..

i'm too easily smitten.. =(

Labels: him

HIM #6

today i thought i would never have the chance to see him or talk to him cause i was having half day leave and by 10plus i got worried.. he's supposed to start work at 930am..

then i told myself.. oh well.. forget it!! not seeing him might be better!!

then 11plus i saw him coming in..

after that i started doing scanning.. when he walked past.. he gave me a super bright and big smile.. making me smile back..

he asked "so where did you go yesterday?"

"eh.. why are you asking this again?"

"okay okay.. i won't ask anymore.."

then i asked him why he haven't go for lunch..

he said!!!!!

"Waiting for you!"

i was shocked and i exclaimed "seriously?!"

think he got shy.. and said.. "er.. no but do you want to?"

i told him i cant today.. maybe thurs or friday?

he said ok and walked away.. awwwww..

then after that i went to take some paper which was stored at the area he was sitting at.. he saw me..

then i stopped to chat with him..

he asked me what is that room for.. is it a store room..

then i asked why he must speak english to me.. i'm stressed.. cant he speak mandarin to me.. cause i think it would be quite funny if he spoke mandarin since his english was those with a slang..

then he spoke mandarin to me!! a few words but it was so cute... haha!

因为我没有经常讲华语。。

*switch to english again*

hahahaha!! so cuteeee..

then i told him i have a friend who also always speak english and whenever i speak mandarin to him he would answer in english.. hahaha!!

then he suddenly tell me actually got bus to my house.. blah blah..

then i told him actually i'm on leave today too..

then he shook his head and smiled and said "you're very happening.."

i told him "actually dont feel like going but then......."

he repeated after me.. haha! funny lah!

then i said goodbye to him..

hahaha..

i think i'm way too boring!!

i need to let my cheeky self out but in front of him i just cant do it!! nervous! but.. nervous for what?!! -_-

Labels: him

HIM #5

today damn funny.. i saw him going to the pantry.. no i didnt follow him..

but he saw me looking at him when he walked out and he mouthed "Hi!" and i waved back at him.. i think he must be thinking that i must have really loved to wave.. cause every time i would wave at him when i saw him.. haha!

as i was having half day leave today.. i thought i wont be able to talk to him etc..

then i saw him standing at the corner where i can spy him from my seat talking to his colleague.. and omg.. i spied for like 5 minutes AND he caught me looking at him.. hahaha!

then i saw him took out his jacket.. which could only mean that he was preparing to go for lunch..

then i saw him with another colleague walking out from their area.. and i waved at him and he waved back at me with a cute smile.. he walked out then suddenly he ran back in.. guess he forgot to bring his access card..

then he walked out and stopped at my scanning seat.. lol..

he started talking to me.. he asked me, "What time are you going for lunch?" i said.. erm.. i'm leaving soon.. going home..

his reaction was unexpected..

"WHY?!! Where are you going???!"

I told him it's a secret and asked if he was very busy lately.. cause i dont see him walking up and down..

he said he's busy everyday.. he stayed till 9pm yesterday and the latest was 12 midnight.. he was feeling very stressed..

poor thing!! i told him to hang in there.. and he also said he kept telling himself to hang on too..

oh man.. was he hinting that he want to go out for lunch together? that's too bad for me.. lol..

Labels: him

something seems to be amiss.. i'm going to hold my horses and lie low.. i'm not going to do anything..

HIM #4

these few days i'll be talking about a certain HIM...... =)

today was like the best-est day ever!!!!!!!

i saw him going to the pantry.. and i thought i saw his eyes searching the area where i was seated.. i was walking around, not at my seat..

i think i must have gone nuts.. i followed him to the pantry..

erm....... well........ i had something to throw as well.. it's a friday and nobody would clear the dustbin under my table until monday so if i threw some food wrappers it would really be nasty.. oh well.. you get the point.. haha!

i went in, threw something.. he saw me.. and he looked at me and i looked back.. we exchanged "hi!" then we continued looking at each other.. the atmosphere was damn funny!!

then i walked stiffly to the basin beside him.. there were two basins in the pantry.. and began to wash my hands.. he was washing his bottle and filling it.. he was staring at me and i was staring back.. i think he knew........

my eyes were betraying me.. they were saying that "i want to talk to you but i dont know what to say..........." i think my expression was very expectant too.. wah lao eh.. cant stand myself..

then finally we started to chat.. i asked him if he stayed till very late yesterday.. and what time he usually go home.. then as we were talking ppl kept walking in.. then we walked and walked out..

i asked him again about the previous time he said he's local.. he must have guessed that i wanted to know his name..

he asked me for my name.. and i asked him for his..

i wanted to shake his hands.. well.. manners what! don't you shake ppl's hands while introducing yourself?

he was so cute.. "erm.. my hands are wet.."

"so are mine!"

then we laughed and shook each others' hands.. (my sis say i very old fashion still must shake hands.. well.. it's manners!!")

then we walked out.. then we chatted.. he asked me what i am doing.. i was so nervous i pretty much forgot what my job scope was like.. HAHAHA!! so stupid..

then we came to an awkward pause again.. then he said he'll catch up with me later..

and i got back to my seat fangirl-ing again.. haha!

ya ya ya.. everyone saw us talking.. then asked if i had dated him out for lunch..

but i was so happy that i got to know his name already..

they kept asking me what was his name but i wanted to keep it as a secret.. haha!

after that.. no more encounter with him..

after lunch.. i was doing scanning as usual.. then i heard a voice "hey.. what are you doing?"

i got a shock.. i thought it was one of my colleagues who always teased me.. i actually wanted to turn and joke.. but i saw that it was him.. i was dumbfounded.. I gave him one word reply.. "erm.. scanning.."

i guess perhaps he was sort of disappointed with my reply? he said.. "uh.. okay.." then he walked away.. he didnt know that he left behind a girl who wanted to ask him.. have you taken your lunch blah blah blah.. haha!!

then i got so nervous.. i was thinking.. "crap!! did he misunderstand that i didn't want to talk to him?!" my mind was in a whirl.. i panicked..

i saw him walk out with his laptop.. i thought.. "this is it.. i'll never get to explain myself.."

as there was no documents needed to be scanned i was not in the area anymore..

at last there were some docs but he didnt come back..

but suddenly as i was doing scanning, he walked in.. we saw each other and said hi.. and that was it..........!!

i just wanted to kick myself for being so "courageous".. lol..

i thought i'll never get to talk to him again for the entire day..

BUT!!

a contractor came in and asked me who is this person, a colleague of mine..

i showed the contractor the way and omggg.. there he was walking out from his seat to the pantry and when he saw me.. he smiled at me.. i tell you i was so gonna faint from all his smiles.. LOL..

then i quickly left my colleague and walk up quickly and closer to him.. i asked if his working area was very cold as all of them wearing jackets..

he said "ya it's very cold.. how about yours?"

i said "quite alright.." then he walked away..

at least he knows that i want to talk to him right? haha!

then again when he walked back.. he called me from behind again.. lol..

asked me about my job scope.. if it's easy.. his very difficult.. then i told him it's rather mundane.. his is programming so more tough.. i took programming before so i know.. he told me it's a waste to study but not go into the line.. but i just told him honestly that i already forgotten how to program and i copied my friend's work in school.. he asked me i was from which school.. then i told him i stayed near to my school.. then he told me where he stayed.. he had to take a bus to mrt then change line again.. etc..

then.. awkward silence again!! he told me he'll talk to me later..

when i turned.. i saw that nobody was looking at our direction so i thought nobody knew.. but i was wrong.. how can anyone not see.. i was seated at the entrance and we were chatting at the entrance.. haha!

well.. i got teased.. they said no wonder i was all smiles the entire day.. oh well.. never mind.. haaaa.. =)

yes i admit i was oh-so-smitten with him just at the very first sight of him.. a few weeks ago.. mayb about a month plus already.. but...... just let nature take its course..

he smiled at me first okay.... i was so shocked.. i remember exclaiming "omg.. i nv expected him to smile at me..." [insert blushing like crazy..] to my colleagues..

no harm getting to know someone new.. no harm making a new friend.. =)

Labels: him

HIM #3

these few days i'll be talking about a certain HIM...... =)

today seriously got no luck in talking with him..

in the morning.. i thought i saw him looking at my direction while he was walking to the pantry..

then he left for his other office i think..

he only came back in the afternoon..

then we exchanged "Hi!" when he walked past..

suddenly.. i felt something different.. i felt rather downcast.. like... something is lost.. i don't know.. i'm not excited anymore..

i dont know..

i wanted to reaffirm my sudden lost feeling..

i walked to the area he was seated but he didnt even look at up me once.. =(

then i saw him go out.. i had this intuition that if i left on the dot, i would be able to meet him at the lift lobby..

i was damn bloody right but i didnt get to talk to him.. i did not leave on the dot and as i was walking out of my seat, he walked right in and turned to the direction of his seat.. without even looking at my direction..

i dont know.. like.. our chemistry suddenly disappeared..

i dont know.............................

i'll see how tmr................

Labels: him

HIM #2

these few days i'll be talking about a certain HIM...... =)

omg... he never fails to surprise me..

i seriously wonder if he can read my mind..

today i was contemplating if i should try waving at him to see his reaction.. but he was one step ahead of me!!

he waved at me today!!

he spotted me from afar and waved at me with such a happy smile.. as if afraid that i didn't spot him..

cause sometimes i pretend not to see him or without any reaction when he walk past.. well.. that was previously..

after yesterday.. it may have been only wishful thinking on my part but.. i felt as if something is changing..

i'm not sure.. but..................

could it be that he knows..................

that i found him special? lol..

and i treat him differently? i only smile at him and not his colleagues.. haha!!

he keeps on initiating the greeting.. perhaps he sensed that i want to say something but i cant seem to say out?

oh my.......

how should i approach him....................

Labels: him

HIM #1

these few days i'll be talking about a certain HIM...... =)

Today is the best day of my life!! I thought today sucked after my rashes outbreak became worse.. BUT no~!! =D

I received 3 calls!!

Most importantly!!

He.......................

said "Hi!" to me..

So coincident that as i was going out for lunch.. he was going to his other office too.. he was so gentlemanly.. he held the door open for me.. omg.. *melt*

we were waiting for the lift in silence.. then i think he knows.. my eyes must have showed something..

He talked to me!! he asked if i was going for lunch..

I asked him about his job scope, why is he situated here blah blah..

Anyway..

He's local though he looks so much like a foreigner!!

That's the little bit of info I've got about him..

I'm so looking forward to our next chat!! =D

By then I should have been able to ask for his name?

Hmmmmm... Age will have to wait.. haha!

Labels: him