i feel like some serial stalker or hua chi seh.. hahaha!!

there is this boy that i beo since he was a little boy till now but no action at all yet.. ROFL!!

i think i spy on him for close to 10 years already.. sounds super creepy and scary huh? LOL!!

anyway i only get to see him a few times if i go downstairs.. and you know i dislike going downstairs.. love to stay at home.. so.................... the chances to meet him ain't that great unless i went downstairs..

and yesterday he was there~~~~~~~~ he's one of the hawker centre stall owner's son la.. lol.. lame right!! i can target soooooo wide range.. hahaha!!

anyway!! the last time i ordered from his stall.. the helper uncle sooooo enthu about it! i want to order from the boy the uncle cut in.. the boy want to bring the tray over to me the uncle cut in.. WAH LAO EHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhh.. i was like "OMG!!!!! HE GONNA BE SERVING MEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" to "NOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooo!! UNCLE!! DUN DO IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

hahahaaha.. like total madness i tell you.. i mean me.. ahahaaha


anyway.. yesterday he was seated near the stall playing with his phone again as usual.. my spying eyes alr ogle till wanna pop out of their sockets.. haha!! stupid la.. i bet he knows that i am the serial pervert that always spy on him if i go there to eat!!! hahahahaha!!

we walked past and spotted this auntie that we knew sitting at the table just outside his stall.. then started to talk.. i dunno if he was smiling at me or those aunties.. *faints at his smile*

then my sis soooo intentionally ask me want to order fish soup or not? his stall sell fish soup.. lol.. then he looked up at me!!! or us.. i dunno.. hahahaha!

then i act cool i said "dun want.." oh man~~ seriouslyyyyyyy~

then we walked to another part of the hawker centre to order something else but i very bu gan yuan!!!! i settled down and went to.............. order fish soup!! HAHAHAHHAA.. siao laaaahhh.....

YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! this time round is order through him!! the uncle never butt in!! but as we were sitting behind.. he told me, "if you sit behind you have to self service okay?"

of course i had to say ok.. if not i can say "dun want! i want YOU to bring it to me!" meh? LOL! sounds so creepy!!!

anyway self service was G-R-E-A-T too cuz i stood there waiting for my soup and i spy and spy and spy and spy all i want!!!

then when it was mine (like so short to me leh the spying time!! lol..).. he looked at me and smiled, saying "come.." in chinese.. when he smiled..... i was............. "kyaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh!! he smiled at me!! he smiled at me!!" in my mind.. hahahahahahha!!

and i walked back to my seat trying very hard to fight the corners of my mouth from turning up.. hahahaha~~

i made a little note to myself that whenever he is there and i dun need to eat vegetarian.. i will order from him.. HAHAHHAHAHAHA!!

yayayaya.. everyone knows my motive for going to the hawker centre and i nv paiseh about it.. will always say.. is he there? is he there? hahahaha

and his pattern a bit similar to the boy i was talking about in my previous post.. specs, brown hair, has that certain je ne sais quoi that i seriously very attracted to but not as nerdy.. i bo bian!! my taste is like that!! i cant fight ogling on these type of ppl.. my cup of tea since young!! hahahahaha!!



anyway.. see!! i ogle for nearly 10 years also dun dare to action.. only dare to look at him from far.. really is zhang wu ji sia.. ;(

Labels: randomness, starry-eyed

i gotta blog about this.. i can't keep it in!! a fangirl mind now!! i know i'm gonna sound soooooo STUPID now.

i was queueing to pay at this certain shop.. suddenly one of the cashier's caught my eye.. my-cup-of-tea radar started to beeeeeeeeeep!

i was praying so hard "omg.. let him serve me!! let him serve me!!"

then in front the person he was serving.. didn't know the difference between nets and visa.. he had to explain.. then i was thinking.. "gone.. all hope is lost.. i surely will be served by someone else.. =("

BUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!! the person in front left just in time before i was called to another counter!!!!!!!! YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!

when he served me.. he gave me such a cute smile i tell you i think i turned red.. LOL.. he said "Welcome to XXX!" Then he gave me an apologetic smile and said "Sorry to keep you waiting.." omg? did he know that i was spying on him?!!! kyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!

Then i calmly said "it's okay.. =)" ya i know i really sucks.. i always act cold and calm in front of those ppl i got the hots for.. lol..

i gave him the same card as the person who was giving him a little trouble just now and he immediately said "paying by NETS?" hmmmm.. it sounded like a statement instead of a question la..

then i weakly said "no, VISA." he was like a little taken aback.. for what i dunno maybe he thought that i saw that commotion and won't give him trouble just sign NETS and settle but i wanna earn VISA cashback lah!!! anyway it was rather cute to see his reaction (okay.. i'm fa hua chi..) i dunno why my voice got caught in my throat when i answered VISA.. lol..

then he tried to tear the VISA receipt to let me sign but he dunno why.. cant seem to tear it out!!!!! like so darn funny!! he tried so long but the receipt just refused to be tore out!! then i think he also felt sooooo paiseh.. he gave an embarrassed laugh and his colleague was laughing at him too.. i laughed and told him "dont be nervous. dont be nervous. =D"

then he finally managed to tear it out to let me sign.. then he still smiling away.. so cute.. omg omg omg.. i sound like some pyscho.. seriously..

then i signed alr.. he said "I'll reprint the receipt for you!" i told him "it's okay.. =D" but he was trying to print the receipt alr.. then i very bad.. i watched his hand as the receipt printed out and then i can sensed that we both held our breath to see if he could tear the receipt out without encountering any problems this time.. and viola!! he did it!! yay!!!! then we looked at each other and smiled.. so got 默契~ hahaha!! like sooooo funny!! daaaaaahhhhhhahahahahahhaa!!!! (spongebob laughter)

then he checked the receipt with the copy that i signed to make sure it was the right one and told me "Please check your receipt! =)" i was alr gonna just stuff the receipt in and that's it le.. but after he said check it i checked the receipt.. lol..

then he passed me my things and smiled with that omg super cute smile again and said "Thank you very much! See you again!" Then I replied him with "Thank you very much! =D" and i took the bag from him and walked away smiling to myself.. LOL!!!! i'm really crazy la..

and then............................................................... i found his fb.. =X

Labels: randomness, starry-eyed

期待与你相遇，我的有缘人。

Labels: randomness

My mind is in a whirl.

I need to be confident. I need to believe in myself.

Labels: randomness

actually i wanted to go to Macau and HK with my uncle after i signed my contract.. but then.. keep delay here and there.. we kept looking for the cheapest deal etc.. so now.. he is going himself.. cuz by the time he go, i am starting work already.. so.................. well.. i guess next year?





so fast.. my vacation is ending.. just like the school holidays.. =(

it's just like the first day of kindergarten, primary school, secondary school, my first temp job, polytechnic and my first perm job all over again.

totally nerve wrecking.

i remember i was such a crybaby during kindergarten and pri sch.. i didnt want to go to sch cuz i was scared. haha.. sec sch of cuz scared too but i couldnt show it right.. alr 13 years old!

i guess my timid character since young huh?

Labels: randomness

Well.. Perhaps I'm just such a bitch.. Fickle-minded bitch.. =\

I know that we don't click so I attempted to "end the game" during our first outing together.. Acting like I've known him for 10 years or something..

I kept doing stuff like silly pranks, cracking jokes.. Apparently he didn't get it..

But one thing is for certain..

He has also felt that I'm not the one he's looking for..

I don't know.. Perhaps I feel reluctant to let it go now because I enjoy the fact that someone was probably attracted to me? Or because I had attention and I liked it?

Well.. I know these are only temporary.. Until one day he gets to know the real deal..

I guess.. I did the right thing by ending it early so that I will not be blinded by this "fake attention" and allow myself to sink into this silly "quicksand"?

I should get over it soon..

I should learn to be independent..

Not to be a leech.. Latching onto people..

Go Michy!! That's the right spirit!! BE INDEPENDENT!! Aja Aja Fighting!!

Labels: randomness

自从他们第一次的眼神交会后，她就被他深深地迷住了 —— 迷得神魂颠倒。。

她的眼睛开始变得很不安分、不受控制。。

视线一直往他的方向飘，偷瞄着他的一举一动。。



and........................

I'm stuck..

yappari an english one would be easier to write.. haha!!

let's see.......






Her heart was hammering in her chest, threatening to burst out of her rib cage. Her palms were drenched with sweat. She was positive that everyone in the room could hear the thumping sound of her heart.





great.... i'm stuck also!! hahaha!

Labels: randomness

I must have been crazy.. Why do I find him hot suddenly? This can't be happening! This is wrong!

Labels: randomness

I saw Thomas Ong last monday at the hawker centre downstairs!!

He was having breakfast with his mum.. When I saw him, I swear that my heart jumped into my mouth.. I was so excited that I couldn't speak!!

The lady at the nasi lemak stall was worse! She always gave customers black face when she served them.. BLOODY HELL!! When she saw Thomas, she smile until her mouth gonna tear liao lah!! wah lao eh!!

Anyway, in real life, Thomas Ong is very tall.. Lean.. Very handsome!!

He was wearing an orange tee shirt, wore his cap slanted and a pair of grey army-print 3/4 pants.. hahaha..

after that, i saw him inside the bank!! i asked my parents to help me take a photo with him but they refused.. they said it was embarrassing and i shouldn't intrude his privacy.. but........... i didnt even stalk him or what leh! i only wanted to take a picture with him leh...................... =(

in the end........... no photo, no thomas.. boohoo!!

---

last fri i went to "welcome" SHINee at the airport!! it was a very very very erm.. different experience.. to know the details, read my fb note.. lazy to re-upload the photos and copy and paste here.. haha!

---

I wonder got any PS3 games suitable for me to play? =)

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oh.. my roast duck noodle stall guy is gone!! the stall folded!! all 4 outlets folded!! SO SAD!! I bio-ed him for 8 years already!! How creepy is that!! HAHAHA!! Wah lao eh.. i stayed here for 8 years already what.. that's why see him for 8 years also lah!

anyway i'll never eat roast duck again!! i never really liked duck.. i ate it cuz his stall's roast duck was really v nice!! and the noodles he cooked were delicious!! sadddddddd..............

Labels: randomness, starry-eyed

I can finally understand the feeling of being forsaken much much much more better now.

Now I really know what it feels like to be left to die and fend for yourself.

Either you float or you drown.

Labels: randomness

I'm getting really sick but I do not know where to go.. I don't know..

---

Nobody wants to SHINee with me!! I guess it's too expensive.. My sister said she would rather I buy a new television than go with me.. =(

DATE
1-2 Feb 2010
Mon-Tue, 07:30PM

DURATION
Approx 90 mins

VENUE(S)
Esplanade Concert Hall

TICKET PRICE (Exclude Booking Fee)
Standard - S$150, S$130, S$110, S$90
VIP Box - S$150

Please add to above price $3 Booking Fee per ticket for tickets above $20 and $1 Booking Fee per ticket for tickets $20 and below. Charges include GST where applicable.

ADMISSION RULES
No admission for infant in arms and child aged below 6 years old. Child 6 years old and above must purchase ticket for admission.

* No Photography, Video recording and Audio recording is allowed for this event !

LANGUAGE
Korean

SYNOPSIS

Boys Before Flowers
My Girl
Great Inheritance
My Love
Witch Amusement
The King and I
Get Karl! Oh Soo Jung
Dream
The Queen Returns
Heading for the Ground

The Korean wave sweeps to Esplanade in February for two special evenings of songs and instrumental pieces from soundtracks of some of the most popular Korean drama series written by composer, arranger and lyricist, Joon-Sung Oh.

Considered one of Korea’s most sought-after composer/lyricist, Joon-Sung Oh, will direct his 9-piece band, Green Cacao and a 23-piece orchestra specially put together for the concert. Some of these songs will be accompanied by music videos from the dramas. Joining them will be Korean popstars Bobby Kim, Mario& and Shinee who will perform their signature tunes from the dramas, Dream, My Girl and Boys Over Flowers respectively.

It is time to relive fond memories of these dramas. Complementing heart-wrenching, humourous and happy-ending storylines, the music of Joon-Sung Oh will tug and touch your hearts. If you are ardent fans of these endearing and internationally renowned drama series or would like to listen to some of the most beautiful music to be written, these performances are not to be missed!

About Joon-Sung Oh

Cited as one of the top drama composers of recent years in the Korean music industry, composer/arranger Joon-Sung Oh has been in the screen, drama and music industry for more than 20 years. As a successful drama music composer he has played an instrumental role in creating more sensation with music scores for My Girl, King and I and Boys Before Flowers. More than that, he has worked with local and world famous star musicians such as Yuki Kuramoto (Japanese Pianist), Sumi Jo (Korean Soprano), David Garrett (American Violinist) for some of these dramas. His recent release of Hip-Hop style music Look up the Sky in MBC TV drama, Manddang Heading is, once again, getting high attention of the drama viewers.

About Bobby Kim

Korean-American singer Bobby Kim debuted in 1994 and has since been labelled as the ‘Godfather of Soul’. In 2004, Kim released the solo album, Beats Within My Soul, a critically acclaimed effort that earned him a Korean Music Award that year. Over the years, Kim has since risen in popularity in the both hip hop and ballad music. His amazing and soulful voice has brought him everywhere in the Korean entertainment industry, ranging from commercials to sound-track albums for TV dramas.

About Mario&

A K-pop singer and rapper, Mario&, known for the theme song, Never Say Goodbye from the drama, My Girl, considered one of the most popular.

About Shinee

Formed in 2008, the 5-member boy band Shinee has won numerous awards. They have also starred in their own reality show based on their song, "Nunan Neomu Yeppeo (Replay)". Shinee is also considered to be fashion icons having started the "Shinee Trend", which is popular amongst the younger generation. During the year of their debut, the group won numerous awards - their first award, Rookie of the Month, at the Cyworld Digital Music Award followed by MNet's 20's Choice Awards 2008, where they won the "Hot New Star" award. Shinee participated in the "5th Asia Song Festival", where they received the "Best New Artist" award. Other awards include “Best Male Rookie" award at the 10th annual MNET KM Music Festival.

Shinee released their full debut album, The Shinee World, on August 28, 2008. The album debuted on the charts at #3, selling 30,000 copies. They have since released 3 other albums including 6 singles of which one of them, Ring Ding Dong, is top of K-pop list today.

Labels: randomness

Happy new year dear readers, if there's any.. Lol..

It's a brand new year and it smells of a brand new start!! I can't wait to spend my 2010!!

Looking back now, 2009 was a year of laughter and tears..

I was still coping alright during the first quarter of the year..

I felt so alone during the second quarter of the year..

I laughed a lot and looked forward to everyday during the third quarter of the year..

I cried more than I laughed, fell really sick and depressed during the last quarter of the year..

I got increasingly restless, angry, irritated and frustrated with everything. I was not happy. As a matter of fact, I am still not feeling happy right now. I do not know what is wrong or where the problem lies.

I'm not sure if anyone noticed but I felt that I was building much more stronger invisible walls and I've shut the door to my heart unknowingly. All I am certain that there are so many locks and I am not sure if there would be any key to unlock all of them..

Unless!! You are this particular oh-so-very-special-magical key that I will definitely welcome you with my arms wide open else I think it would be a mission impossible for anyone.. Haha!

I read this off someone's newspaper..

生活是一面镜子，你笑，它也笑。。
Life is a mirror, when you smile, it smiles too..

Perhaps this really has some truth to it..

Currently I feel so rotten thus my life is getting more and more rotten.. I've seemed to have stopped smiling lately.. Cause I've gotten a lot of comments like "Why aren't you smiling?" "Come one, smile!" "Why are you looking so sad?" "Be happy!".. So I guess my emotions are shown on my face more often than I realise..

What should I do?

Labels: randomness

Lately so busy with work.. However my mind is still capable of wandering. Good job. Well done.

My mind just refuses to listen to me.. It loves to think..

I was told that I don't have much troubles but my mind loves to wander and find nonsensical things to worry over. That is just so true.. LOL!

I guess I got to force myself to focus on my work more. Give it my everything. Work harder. I don't know where I spent my money! My bank account is in the red! =(

Every event in my life is a learning point for me which I will keep in my heart..

I will learn from them and embrace my mistakes.. I'm staying true to myself no matter what others may say. I may still be the same old boring me but whatever! I think it's good enough for my little circle..

I don't know why but I am starting to think that talking is pointless.. Perhaps I should have been born dumb..

I'm hiding in my shell again but then..

I feel like doing something very exciting and crazy but I don't know what.. I'm still trying to figure it out..

So contradicting!

I turned on the telly and I saw this conversation between two friends..

Something like this..

Losing a lover is alright because you can fall out of love many times and the pain will go away with time.. But losing a best friend is not because you only have one best friend and the pain will never go away.. It will always be there..

I think if one day my remaining besties also stop talking to me I will cry till no more tears left.. So please warn me first.. Lol..

Oh man I think I kinda strained my legs.. It hurts..

Why am I taking everything so seriously? I should just loosen up and take things easy.. Why am I so prone to thinking negative stuff? Bad habits that should be kicked.. It's not easy to banish those lousy thoughts but I have to try..


原来我没有想象中的那么坚强。。

Lately I'm feeling rather worn out.. I need to recharge my battery soon.. =(

Labels: randomness

Up till now.. I still believe that I should treat a person with 100% of my true heart and I will do it to my very best when they ask me to do things..

I also know that when people leave, they won't come back anymore and I can't force them to turn back.. I'll just have to keep them in a corner of my heart and if I'm lucky, they'll come back someday..

If not.. I'll just have to move on and only remember the good times we shared together..

But I don't know what is wrong with me lately.. I kept on dreaming about him.. He is always in my story plots.. When I wake up, I can't remember what was the story about but I know that he is inside..

我不愿回顾，因为在记忆深处。。思念常刺痛我心灵。。

I was once a person who also loved to smile and laugh.. For no apparent reason, one day I just lost my smile..

For so many years until one fine day, I met someone by chance who brought a smile to my face.. This person injected laughter in my life but as suddenly as he appeared, he disappeared.. Though my laughter was short-lived and I'm still coping.. Now I'm trying to find new ways to make myself smile..

Memories may fade but deep down inside I know that he'll always have have a place in my heart.. The person who came into my life and swept me off my feet.. Giving me brand new experiences that I only dared to dream about but left suddenly will be well hidden away.. Should one day I meet him on the street by coincidence.. I don't know how I will react but I'll observe his reaction first.. If he acknowledges me, I'll acknowledge back.. If he feigns ignorance.. Then I'll do it too.. I don't know.. That's my character.. I won't acknowledge people first.. If I see familiar faces on the street, I will fervently wish that I can dig a hole to hide myself.. I guess it's due to low self-confidence..

Even though I miss him.. I won't contact him.. There must be a certain aspect of me so detestable to him that made him not even want to be my friend and wanting to cut off contact with me.. Why should I cause further dislike? I realised that I took things for granted.. I thought that the friendship will always be there.. I don't need to pay attention to it and it will still remain..

原本以为或许。。有可能。。也许。。是一直期待已久的幸福终于要降临了。。我也可以像我身边的人一样。。找到一个能够了解我的人。。可没想到竟然会是我的噩梦的开始。。可是梦究竟还是梦。。总有一天会醒来的。。

I miss his voice, his laughter, his jokes, his singing, his texts, his calls, his sleepy voice, him trying to lull me to sleep, him listening to my problems..

I still miss him.. On him, I found wings that enabled me to soar.. He was everything that I was not.. He was able to understand what I craved for all these years.. I was too reserved, too socially inept and I didn't know how to express myself.. He knew what I wanted say even when I didn't speak and kept quiet..

Previously, everyday I looked forward to the sound of my phone ringing.. Now that it's so quiet.. I don't know why but I hate it.. I hate the silence and I've become so afraid of loneliness.. But I'll endure it somehow..

The sky in my life used to be black and white.. He came and painted my sky with bright, vibrant colours and left without warning.. Though the heavy rain has washed out the colours.. I promise that there will be no more rain.. I won't let it rain anymore.. It will take some time but I will definitely find a way to paint new colours back into my heart.. It will be black and white no more..

I am still very curious what aspect that is so detestable.. Only one of my friend told me honestly about my bad points.. None of my other friends told me about my bad points because they were too nice and afraid that I couldn't take it..

Criticism is a bitter pill but it cures. I need criticism to improve I guess.. Cause I'm still on a journey of self discovery.. Now I may be lost.. But someday I'll find myself.. What I really need and want.

This will be the last time I'm talking about this matter.. Because I know that some things, once lost.. It can't be retrieved..

I asked myself this question repeatedly.. "Do you want to continue to mourn for your loss and wallow in self pity or do you want to move on and perhaps someday find another click-able friend?" If I chose the former, I'd be damned..

I know that over the years, I've lost a number of friendships already.. Friends that talk daily in school, send each other regular texts or MSN each other to zero contact at all.

So why this is affecting me so much and why am I taking things so hard this time? Why am I taking such a long time to climb up from my fall?

I guess because this is the first time I'm able to talk to someone on the phone with ease for long hours and nearly daily.. I've always had the phobia of talking to people on the phone because I run out of topics to talk and talking on the phone makes me nervous.. Furthermore I have issues with trusting someone fully..

我还想他，我在他身上曾找到翅膀飞翔。。

Plus currently with my pathetic non-existent social life, I feel like I'm drowning in the sea.. I guess he was a piece of drifting plank out in the sea.. I saw it floating by and I quickly grabbed and held onto it for dear life.. He would listen to my woes patiently and provide me with solutions which up till now I still lacked the courage to realise them.. But it really felt great that someone was there, listening to you, standing by you and understand what you are going through..

But somehow it's still a mystery to me as why he was able to gain my trust so quickly in such a short span of time. I guess he was special.

Though most unwilling to but I've got to accept the fact that he'll never be there for me anymore. I'll just have to grow up and depend on myself from now..

Although it was only for a short period of time.. Those days made a lasting impression in me.. They were the happiest days of my boring and gloomy 2009.. The chapter has ended.. But so is the year 2009.. It is ending too soon.. So.. I should be looking forward to 2010.. A brand new year! I'm looking forward to making new happy days ahead..

Enough said.

This will be my resolution for 2010!!

I want to be of an importance to my existing friends' lives too.. I want to be someone who will make a lasting impression in them! I want to be there for them whenever they need me! I want to be someone who can cheer up! I want to be a positive force too!

Dearest friends.. Though I am unable to express myself and I don't talk much.. But I just want you to know that you are not alone.. I am going to be right here with you till the end.. =)

What I want is actually something very simple but currently YOU are the last thing on my mind that I want to think about.. I hope I can think about YOU next year when I've saved enough money.. =)

Under this lonely and starry night.. Will anyone remember me? Will anyone think of me? Will anyone miss me? I wonder.

Labels: randomness