jia you jia you jia you!!!!!!!!! you can do it!! have some confidence and faith in yourself!

you are not bothering or irritating me.. i'm serious! it's cool to let off steam sometimes.. i'm always the one whining to you so actually it's kind of unfair to you to be on the receiving end all the time.. haa.. =)

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actually i woke up at 615am the next day to post this rubbish because i didnt get to use the pc yesterday.. lol~

#HIM 12

Well.............. today he came in at 11am+.. his work ended at 3am yesterday..

today he wore a pair of specs and didnt style his hair.. it made him really nerdy.. but some people are so mean.. they said he looked so mountain tortoise and cant look at me cuz they will laugh as they will be reminded of him.. -_-

i mean come on lah! what's wrong?

at the first glance is shock, after see a few times i thought it was alright.. he had those nerdy look that i thought was cute..

i'm sorry my range of cute very wide. i love nerds cuz i'm one of them ya?

but i didnt really look at him the whole day.. he must have sensed that too! haha! was i in denial too? whatever!

i didnt sms him first!! i waited like i was advised..

hmmm.. he sms-ed me at around 2pm i think? he asked if i was having lunch alone..

i wasnt, i had lunch with my colleague.. she paid for me AGAIN.. i dun wanna owe her so much favours! but she keep insist on paying.. =\

after that we just asked each other the regular who did you lunch with, did you stay till very late yesterday blah blah..

after that at 3pm i decided to charge my mobile so.............. i didnt really reply till it was nearly 6pm.. cuz my current workstation only has power supply for 2 plugs, my computer.. so i had to charge at my actual desk.. i'm not sitting at my own seat currently..

but the weird thing was that during like 4 - 5pm.. i actually bumped into him at the toilet passageway.. i swear this is a freaking coincidence.. i got a shock.. i said "Hi!" then i dunno what to say.. he had the same reaction too.. Just the stunned "Hi!" and the awkward silence of dunno what to say.. want to say something etc.. i mean.. seriously it's just weird.. then i walked away.. hahaha!

after i replied him at 6pm.. he asked me if i wanna go home together.. he used an exclamation mark.. "wanna go home together!"

then oh no.. i smelt trouble brewing..

i mean for me personally..

i must be crazy.. there must be something wrong with me.. serious..

i actually kinda felt irked!! i mean i dunno why.. but i was kinda irritated.. i guess i am so used to being alone.. this sudden two people activity was kinda getting on my nerves.. lol.. i dun mean that i dun like having company.. but i just............. i dunno!! (ya i agree with you that i am very hard to please.. lol..)

you are so right.. even if i met a good guy.. i'll never be able to get attached..

crap.. am i really destined to be an old spinster? *cries*

i asked my colleague.. should i go home with him!!

damn cute.. she wrote yes and no on two pieces of paper.. and i picked tio "YES! =)"

she said it's destiny!!!!!

haha!! so bo liao right..

so i said ok but i'm leaving at 630pm..

he replied "645 ok?"

i really dun wanna stay any longer in "hell" so i turned to my colleague again and whined that i dun wanna wait!! i just wanna go homeeeeeee!!

she must be thinking.. this girl very weird seh.. lol~

he sms me that if i'm in a rush, pls dun wait.. i'm sorry =(

wah lao eh.. like that lo! i soft hearted..

in the end i said i had nothing on but just didnt want to stay in office any longer..

he replied where are you?

i dunno!! i just felt funny! like.............. i was being controlled or what seh!! f lah i think i'm having commitment phobia? haha!!

i mean he wasnt even there waiting yet ma!

i sms back.. in the toilet.. haha!

i was actually taking out my bag and preparing to leave alr.. -_-

in the end i waited for him at tower one and he waited for me at tower two.. when he called me, i didnt hear cuz it was on volume 1 and i have bad hearing.. i called back.. then i dunno.. i thought i heard irritation in his voice when we were discussing about where are you blah blah.. are you coming over.. then i guess i must have been showing a buay song voice too? i think i said.. "yes yes.. okok.. i'm walking over now" i heard him say sorry.. machiam like i was the one being super mean.. super ba dao.. kaoz..

aiyah.. i seriously......... dunno..... i think being friends is the best option still.. oh no.. f.. am i starting to resist him alr? =\

at this rate.. i'll never make any new friends i tell you..

argh whatever. then when he saw me he gave me a big smile which totally made me feel guilty.. -_-

he told me he sent a sms that tell me he waiting at tower two.. then i said i didnt receive! did you send! he checked his mobile and i was like.. you didnt send right!! he said he did send and seems like my phone is not receiving sms..

hmmmmmmm... i feel that we've come to a point like.. we dun really have much topic to talk alr? that's like so wtf? i mean we only started consistent interactivity for like.. i dunno is this day two or day three? haha!

i feel that he's a very serious person? when he sms me.. kinda like so formal? i cant seem to bring myself to be like joking etc..

when i got home, after some serious and impulse considerations, i smsed him.. to ask if we are still going out tmr.. cuz he might have to go back to work.. that's a programmer's life for you. =\

he actually replied with Hi! that's like i dunno.. so formal.. so distant.. -_-

anyway he will only confirm at 1pm.. then we go out in the evening.. seriously........ i hate going out at night.. -_- well unless there's like personal transport? else i really detest it.. taking a late train/bus etc.. i dunno. i is sibei weird de person..

then i told him if he's busy then nvm, there's always a next time.. (should i do an MIA tmr? i'm getting cold feet about going home late.. LOL)

he said ok.. then what hope that i'll have a good night..

then i replied that he should sleep early since he didnt have enough slp.. (he ended work at 3am.. reached home at 4am.. slept at 430am and woke up at 830am to prepare to go to work.. that's a programmer's life for you.. =X)

he told me he's doing his laundry..

i replied that.. "wow.. someone has been very hardworking.."

he said ya he has been doing it since he was 21..

i mean it's just a joke.. i'm trying to be funny with him.. cant he get it??? lol..

then he ask me what i'm doing..

i thought i should be bo liao and told him i'm sitting on my bed, enjoying the fan, doing nothing, sms-ing him.. (which actually is the truth..)

then he ask me why dun i go watch tv or something.. there's a v nice documentary on national geographic.. HAHA! SCARED RIGHT.. i think he also got commitment phobia seh! hahahahahaha!!

sorry but i aint gonna watch any documentary.. my sis was using the pc, my bro bathe finish liao want to play ps3.. waste electricity sia!

so i told him that i'm trying to save electricity.. my mum's been complaining about the bills and i'm actually sitting in the dark too.. fan is to dry my hair and lull me to sleep.. (which is the truth) i shant disturb you any further enjoy your documentary! =)

he replied.. alrighty, talk to you later..

so i stopped replying.

fyi.. he nv sms me later..

i really hate it when people say.. "hey! talk to you later" "sms you later" "call you later" then that person never talk/sms/call! dun give promises so easily when you aint gonna fulfill them later! i get seriously irritated seh!

i told him no need to be so formal to me.. he still formal.. =\

maybe to me it's formal but to him it's manners?

and............ i find that he quite self-centred too?

he sees no need to have a fb acct.. he say he's too busy bothering about his own life, problems etc to have time to bother about others..

i asked him directly.. isnt that like self centred? i think he got a shock.. haha! he start to tell me his theory of what example, his bro eat liao dun wanna wash the dishes, leave in the sink then when his mum come back see the mess get angry and both party unhappy.. like that his bro very selfish, nv think of consequences.. that is then self-centred..

wah seh.. we are on diff frequency liao sia!! to me.. if you dun bother to know about the updates in other ppl's life but only your own life, that is self-centred liao..

he doesnt share his happiness etc.. he keeps it to himself..

i threw another bomb.. how do your friends know if you are happy then? he got another shock i think! haha! he said i guess they'll know.. then i said if you dun tell.. who knows?

then he told me his theory.. he used to be very depressed, always complaining but still sitting on his ass and doing nothing abou it, just complain to his frenz but then he realised that it will start to get annoying to his frenz.. he said shouldnt let his negativity affect other ppl etc.. and that to him if you tell out, just seeking attention, pity from others etc..

so he's not like that anymore.. he only shows his positive side to others.. and he will do something about it and not sit on his ass..

ya actually i agree with him.. always being negative will annoy people someday.. BUT AM I SERIOUSLY REALLY THAT ANNOYING?! =((((((

pls tell me if i am annoying you.. i will try my best to change.. thanks!!!!!!

ps.. he kinda remembers what i said? i said i v lazy.. i always take the escalator down in the mrt station.. we alighted at the one near to the stairs.. he actually pointed to the escalator and asked "escalator?" when we alighted.. O_o

then he walked me to the traffic light.. i can cross overhead bridge outside the mrt la it is nearer but i thought we can talk a bit more if i accompanied him to walk to the bus interchange.. i can cross at the traffic light to get home too..

he's 29.. he thought i was only 22.. haha!! felt like telling him "wah lao eh! dun lie lah! i look so chao lao lo.. HAHA!!" but he nv speak a word of singlish to me before? when i talk to him, occasionally my singlish would come out.. maybe most of the time? i dunno.. singlish makes me feel like more close to the person?

i actually put my head closer to him when he talk cuz i cant hear.. he had to repeat himself a few times.. i told him mrt too noisy.. HAHA! i think i really need hearing aids.. =\

shit.. was that like.. am i showing signs of what.. trying to be closer to him? sia lah.. cannot lah! now i suddenly feel that.. perhaps we dont really click.. i shouldnt send wrong signals..

oh.. he's cantonese.. but weird eh.. by his surname should be either teochew or hokkien what..

he ask if i am cantonese also.. i said mine is categorised in hokkien..

a normal person would ask.. categorised? what is it? but he nv ask! he like just oh ok..

then yest when we went lunch together, i met my fren, a guy.. i waved excitedly at my fren while walking past each other.. he just jitao ignored my excited waving and my fren.. nv look at him etc.. i said.. my classmate.. he nv even answer back!! he just talk about his things..

i dunno.. self-centred lah!

and.. that day we went home together for the first time, it was raining right.. we shared umbrella but i realised he was sheltering himself more than me! i was getting wet seh! maybe is the way he hold the umbrella but then i seriously felt that he was sheltering himself more.

it's not that i'm being petty about this ok.. just being observant.. whether he is really gentlemanly or selfish.. guys.. a reminder.. remember to shelter the girl more if you are sharing umbrellas! else sibei bad impression liao!!

oh... suddenly dawned on me.. did he not style his hair cuz he wanted to test whether it was just a physical attraction or not?

seriously.. i'm being a bitch.. i admit i was attracted to his hair..

but who am i to judge people when i myself dun even bother to improve or care about my looks, my dressing sense blah blah..

but really.. i am having serious doubts.. are we actually really clicking or is it all just a forced horrible one-sided affair..

woot!! finished typing all this stupid rubbish at 819am.. haha!

Labels: him