Its been a long time since I have last blogged... Sorrie about the promise to blog dutifully after the exams. I have been slacking and playing around instead. I told myself not to break anymore promises since Then, but old habits die hard I guess. Sometimes I feel that I keep giving excuses to the bad/wrong things I have done... But I really hope I'm not like that. To me, thats being irresponsible and I dislike people for that. I dont want to contradict myself and be someone that dont practice what I preach.

I thought when the exams are over, I will start to attend driving lessons. This is a much delayed thing that I wanted to do. It seems like there is always something more important and I keep pushing back that plan. Now my FTT is gonna expire x_x How can anyone resist a good job that landed right in front of them? So here I am, working duing this holiday break. Driving? Wait and see...

Recently, there are many friends around me that are facing big problems. You guys have to be strong. No matter how bad something can be, it will always come to an end. Every encounter will make you stronger and better in life. There is always a listening ear here for you, so never feel alone and lost.

Although now I have to start telling myself the same things... What irony.

Just got my results back yesterday. It was horrible. I failed my discrete structures, which I never expected to. It is my worst result since I dont know when. I didnt leave the whole paper blank, I knew I could do some questions but it still wasnt enough. Alot of people must have done very well, so my marks were peanuts compared to theirs. Because of this failure, my CPA is rock bottom. Because of this failure, I get a 'F' on my transcript. Because of this failure, I may not graduate in 3 years. What a mess I have gotten myself into. Maybe... maybe I just dont belong to this place after all...

I have also seem to let go of my grades now... I feel numb. This is so not me! The feeling is like giving up - giving up the struggle towards the inevitable band of grades reserved for me: Cs, Ds and now F

The light at the end of the tunnel seems further and further away...

I dont get alot of moments like this... thankfully. But can I stand on my feet again after this big fall?